The Birds and The Bees and A Thing Called Love
by vuzznut
Summary: Sirius is giving Harry the talk about birds and The bees.


**This a one shot set in Harry Potter Fifth year before he heads to Hogwarts. I don't own Harry potter characters or the song that belongs Dean Martin if I did I would be rich and have lots of money which I don't.**

**The Birds And The Bees And The thing called love.**

_Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees_

_and the flowers and the trees,_

_the moon up above, and the thing called love._

The Weasley family with Tonks, Remus Lupin, Hermione and Harry Potter all were having breakfast the day after the trail. They all were chatting happily when Sirius Black came walking in with big smile and humming a happy song which everyone notice.

"So Sirius why are you in such happy mood?" Remus asked

"Well Moony, I have been thinking." Sirius started

"You actually were using your brain?" Remus asked surprised

"Yes Moony I do use my brain sometimes, any way I was thinking that we should give Harry the birds and the bees like how James and I used to do it for the first year when where at school."

"Um well, didn't that scared all the first year to death." Remus said well blushing as red as the Weasley hair colour.

"Um Sirius I already know about the birds and the bees." Harry said

"Yes well as your godfather I have every right if you do know about sex; I still want to tell you any why so come long to my study room." Sirius said as he dray Harry and Remus into the next room.

_Let me tell you 'bout the stars in the sky,_

_the girl and the guy_

_and the way they could kiss_

_on a night like this._

"Now Harry, you need know about the birds and the bees and a thing called love." Sirius said happily

"Oh okay." Harry said confused

"Now when a men and a woman for all in love they might want to take it to the next stage even make out in closet and in the astrometry tower but the next stage is way funnier." Sirius stated happily

"You know Sirius you just said it was okay for Harry to have sex anytime." Remus said

"Yes well everyone needs to experiment with different ladies." Sirius said joyfully

"Lily won't be pleased." Remus added

"Yes well but James would've agreed." Sirius shot back

"You and James half the time act like idiots." Remus said back

"Did not"

"Did too"

"Did not"

"Did too"

"DID NOT"

"DID TOO" There shouting was heard out into the kitchen where rest of the people where eating.

"I wonder what that is all about." Hermione wondered

Any way back with Harry, Remus and Sirius back to life changing talked.

"Guys stop both are acting like idiots." Harry said he tried to stop them fighting.

"Fine they both grumbled

_When I look into your big brown eyes,_

_it's very plain to see_

_that it's time you learn about the facts in life_

_startin' from A to Z._

_Let me tell you 'bout the birds..._

"Anyway where was I oh yes I remember now. When you meet a special lady you want to do it with. Also this always have condom in handy." Sirius said happily

"Oh Okay." Harry said while blushing

"If you don't use a condom, then you get the young lady pregnant. Then you come a father at a young age then you have to get a job pay for food, cloths and having no life." Sirius said rather happy.

"I will be carefully and plus I wanted to do it with someone I loved." Harry said seriously

"Stick to that Harry." Remus agreed

"Yeah but where is the fun?" Sirius asked stupidly

"Well you are an idiot." Remus muttered to Harry

"Too true." Harry muttered back

"Yeah whatever, anyway now I these two dolls to show you different position." Sirius said as some how he conjured a Barbie and a Ken doll out of thin air. As he started to showed all the different positions like the doggy style and other type styles.

"Oh James, harder god harder." Sirius said in high pitch voice

"Yes lily oh god yes." Sirius said in low voice

"Um Sirius can you please stop its embarrassing." Harry said as he blushes

"But we are just getting to the interesting part." Sirius wined

"Yes Sirius as I agreed with Harry." Remus agreed with Harry.

"Oh fine." Sirius gave up and pouted.

"Harry you can go back to you friends." Remus said to Harry.

"Thanks see ya." Harry said as he left the room.

"You had to give the talk didn't you." Remus said Sirius

"Of course."

"Lets head back to kitchen to have rest of the breakfast." Remus said as those got up and left and head to the kitchen. With Harry and the Weasley children in Harrys and Rons bedroom.

"Never get Sirius do the talk of the birds and bees to you by god that was embarrassing." Harry said

"Poor you Harry." Ron said in a sad tone.

_Well, let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees..._

_Let me tell you 'bout the birds and the bees,_

_the flowers and the trees,_

_the stars in the sky, a girl and a guy._

_The birds and the bees,_

_the flowers and the trees,_

_the stars in the sky and a girl and a guy..._

**The End….**

**I hope you enjoyed this short story about the birds and the bees and the thing about love. Please review.**


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